Wigan Property, Estate agents Wigan

Jobs For The Boys – Friday

secret agent — Sat, 19 May 2012 06:03:00 +0000

‘Who’ve we got here?’ I ask, as I loiter in the sales area, post morning meeting. It’s a lonely place in the manager’s office when you have targets like mine.

‘Looks like another health and safety bod.’ Predicts assistant manager T, squinting at the white, sign-written van attempting to mount the pavement outside the window. I read some advertising agency font on the Vauxhall’s side with a weak pun and a logo a child would be embarrassed to give to their art teacher. Probably stung the company tens of thousands, costs they’ll now be looking to load on to my profit and loss account - shockingly.

‘It’s the electrical appliance tester.’ Says busty negotiator S in recognition, nodding suggestively towards lettings lush B and adding. ‘He’s quite hot if I remember.’ He will be if he plugs in to the mains, I think grumpily. I have a low-voltage annoyance that S fancies him, but I’m more peeved about the price of this absurd annual visit to check all our plug-in electrical equipment. Equipment that nobody wires any more since the advent of compulsory factory sealed plugs with new products. Annoyingly it was the one DIY skill I mastered since the school metalwork debacle.

‘He’ll get a ticket if he leaves it there.’ Pronounces fat mortgage man M as he waddles from his room and heads towards the kitchen, unpleasant chaffing-material sound coming from his trousers. It must be M who loads the filing cabinets with enough static to send the electrical engineers voltmeter off the scale. I’m sure I felt my heart falter last time I was zapped trying to get details out of the top drawer without earthing properly.

‘What are the wardens like around here?’ Asks the dark haired, brown eyed admittedly good-looking lad, when he puts his head around the door and flashes the females a dentally perfect smile. I dislike him already, and that’s before he starts fiddling with my hardware. The hazard lights are flashing on the Astra van and I noticed him place some sort of pre-laminated card on the dash, presumably claiming he was a tradesman on urgent business. If my fake Doctor On Call doesn’t always work, I’m not convinced this will fool our predatory warden.

‘You’ll get a ticket if you leave it there.’ I pronounce sourly. ‘They are trying to turn the high street in to a wasteland of boarded up units and charity shops.’

‘And estate agents.’ Adds the lad brightly, to unhelpful giggles from the girls. Terrific, a comedian. I really don’t need competition, especially with a 32-inch waist and all their own teeth.

‘So what does he do exactly?’ Asks trainee F while the tradesman moves his van to the place suggested, suggestively by B. Who only just stopped short of dribbling the way she does when young male tenants come in or a gin and tonic turns up.

‘He’s does the PAT test.’ I tell the man with a lower IQ than spent chewing gum.

‘He could certainly pat me down.’ Contributes B with a throaty chuckle. I should say something about sexist comments in the workplace but it only seems to work one way.

‘It’s short for portable electrical appliance test.’ I tell an unconvincingly nodding F. He smiles and I wait, a little longer than even I anticipated, before he asks. ‘So what exactly is that then?’

‘They check the kettle isn’t going to kill you, whack a sticker on it then send you a bill.’ Answers M as he sways back through, with a mug of tea and at least two biscuits in his chubby grip.

‘The same kettle that was there last year and hasn’t altered one bit.’ I say close to boiling point.

‘What about your sandwich toaster?’ Questions S, looking at M. ‘That wasn’t there last year.’

M hesitates, indecision etched on his face before he puts the tea on the filing cabinet - with no hint of a static hit - pops both biscuits in his mouth and returns to the kitchen, reappearing seconds later with the molten-cheese-generator under his arm.

‘I’ll stick it away until he’s gone.’ Says the big man. ‘You can’t be too careful.’

Takes more than a European financial crisis to knock homebuyers’ confidence

Ben — Fri, 18 May 2012 17:23:03 +0000

Knight Frank/Markit House Price Sentiment Index (HPSI) remains at near 20-month high, this positive forecast comes despite UK households perceiving a decline in value of their homes for the 23rd successive month in May.

Technorati Tags: property, real estate

Where are the burglary hotspots in the UK?

HIP-Consultant.co.uk — Fri, 18 May 2012 10:46:24 +0000

Landlord insurance experts Just Landlords have recently released a new infographic which highlights the top 10 burglary hotspots in the UK and some interesting facts about burglaries. It is clear from the infographic that the 2 places to avoid are London and Yorkshire which both have multiple locations that make it into the top 10, [...] Related posts:

The best places in the UK to be a landlord

Should we re-nationalise the utility companies?

Mark Brinkley — Fri, 18 May 2012 10:04:00 +0000

I've done the conservatory tax to death. On its own, it's perhaps not the biggest of stories and doesn't rate more than a footnote in the annals of the political machinations of the Coalition. But the problem is that it's not on its own. It's symptomatic of a whole raft of fudged decisions and misunderstanding which are beginning to taste of a deep rooted crisis in our energy policies. On the

Family forced out of home by ghosts

Ben — Fri, 18 May 2012 08:28:41 +0000

Twelve ghosts, no less… forcing a mum and a baby to flee their Essex cottage (and former witch prison). She'd apparently had her hair pulled, visitors had been shoved toward the stairs and blood spots appeared on the carpets. Next, she'll apparently be opening up the property to ghost tours. Wonder if she was struggling with the mortgage? More here.

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Too late for designer Tom Dixon’s Shepherds Bush semi

Ben — Thu, 17 May 2012 17:28:46 +0000

It's just gone under offer. If you're nosey nevertheless about what a top interior designer does to the inside of his house, particulars are still here.

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The 11th reason

Ben — Thu, 17 May 2012 17:22:10 +0000

… to protest the Olympics.

[Kim's] arrival in the UK fuels reports that the Kardashians are set to move to London this summer to film a special reality TV show.

An insider told HollywoodLife earlier this year that the Olympics were a golden opportunity for reality TV’s hardest working family.

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The House at Pooh Corner for Sale

Planet Property — Thu, 17 May 2012 10:53:24 +0000

with a rock n’ roll mystery thrown in…

The house where Christopher Robin, son of author AA Milne, and inspiration for the Winnie the Pooh books, grew up is on the market.

Cotchford Farm, which the author bought as a country retreat for his family in 1925, is set in what is commonly known as Pooh Country, in Ashdown Forest, Sussex.

Nearby are locations which will be recognised by lovers of the books such as the 500 acre wood, Galleons Lap, Pooh Corner and the Poohsticks Bridge just half a mile upstream.

But the history of this house is more than just a children’s bedtime story.

Founder member of the Rolling Stones, Brian Jones, also owned the house until he mysteriously drowned there aged 27, in 1969.

His death was initially thought to have been caused by an asthma attack, though it’s widely believed that his builder admitted to killing him in a deathbed confession.

The property, which is Grade II listed and dates from the mid 16th Century with later additions, comes with six bedrooms, 9.5 acres, a heated pool, and foresters rights.

It’s on the market at £2 million with Savills UK.

Curious carpets – 10 of the best

Lawrence Hall — Thu, 17 May 2012 09:28:10 +0000

1. 3 bedroom bungalow for sale £485,000 2. 4 bedroom detached home for sale £675,000 3. 4 bedroom bungalow for sale £380,000 4. 3 bedroom semi detached home for sale £125,000 5. 3 bedroom semi detached home for sale OIRO £94,950 6. 6 bedroom semi detached home for sale £665,000 7. 4 bedroom semi detached home for sale £575,000 8. 4 bedroom detached [...]

Brace yourselves

Ben — Thu, 17 May 2012 08:52:35 +0000

That's the message from the Bank of England yesterday in a report warning homeowners that the cost of borrowing is likely to rise as lenders pass on higher Eurozone-driven costs to customers. More here.

Technorati Tags: property, real estate

Wigan Property, Estate agents Wigan

Jobs For The Boys – Friday

Takes more than a European financial crisis to knock homebuyers’ confidence

Where are the burglary hotspots in the UK?

Should we re-nationalise the utility companies?

Family forced out of home by ghosts

Too late for designer Tom Dixon’s Shepherds Bush semi

The 11th reason

The House at Pooh Corner for Sale

Related Posts:

Curious carpets – 10 of the best

Brace yourselves